Stop Sacrificing Yourself for Everyone Else!
We all have busy lives - packed work schedules, multiple commitments, and busy homes with kids, pets, and a never-ending list of household chores. We have people to take care of and endless things to juggle.
In the middle of all this, it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs while taking care of everyone else’s requests and demands. Often, you don’t even have time or feel like you don’t have the right to pause and prioritize yourself.
It’s particularly hard to prioritize your own needs and self-care for those raised in cultures where the focus was on serving others and self-sacrifice was valued. Like myself, growing up in Soviet Russia, these ideas were a big part of my upbringing.
We were taught that putting others first was the right thing to do, which makes it feel difficult - and even selfish - to prioritize personal fulfillment today.
However, prioritizing your needs and well-being isn’t just crucial for your own happiness - it’s also essential for the well-being of those around you.
Misconception About Self-Love
There's a common misconception that self-love and self-care are selfish. But the truth is, taking care of yourself and prioritizing your needs is one of the most responsible things you can do. When you’re physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy, you’re better equipped to support others.
Benefits of Prioritizing Yourself
When you take care of yourself, you keep your energy up, making it easier to be there for others. Think of it like the safety instructions on an airplane: you must secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
When you start prioritizing yourself, you not only reduce stress and anxiety but also build resilience and patience. Over time, your confidence grows, your interactions with others improve, and you establish healthier boundaries. This leads to stronger relationships, a deeper sense of fulfillment, and an overall better quality of life.
Taking care of your own needs creates a positive ripple effect that enhances every aspect of your life. It took me far too long to realize this and begin prioritizing my own needs (and I’m still working on it!).
Where to start?
Me-time. To start prioritizing your own needs, begin by creating personal time (even if it’s just 10 minutes per day!). Use this time for activities you enjoy and that help you unwind - whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or doing something you love. Everyone’s different, so it’s worth investing time in self-discovery to figure out what truly recharges you.
I often hear, “But I don’t have any time during the day!” The truth is, there’s no such thing as being too busy. If something truly matters, you’ll make time for it. So, make taking care of yourself a priority, and you’ll find the time. And if you still struggle, reach out to me - I’ll help you find it.
Say No. Another important thing is learning to say no. We all hear about the importance of it, yet we often find ourselves saying ‘yes’ to things that don’t align with what we truly want. Recognize your limits and avoid overcommitting. Politely declining requests that do not align with your priorities helps protect your time and energy. Set clear boundaries and communicate them effectively to ensure that others understand your needs and respect your time (one step at a time!).
Self-care. Regularly engage in self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul, and recharge your energy. Finding your unique set of energy givers might take some time, self-reflection, observation, and practice. Start paying attention to what energizes you, and if you want to accelerate your progress, consider working with a coach who can help you get from A to B faster.
While common practices like exercise, sleep, and nutritious meals benefit everyone, each of us has unique rituals that instantly recharge us. For me, it’s working on a project that aligns with my values, organizing and optimizing my space, meditating, taking a contrast shower, or having a conversation with someone who grounds and uplifts me.
Embracing Self-Love
Self-love is about recognizing your worth and prioritizing your needs. It means making choices that serve your best interest and setting boundaries to protect your well-being.
Take a moment to reflect on how often you make time for yourself, whether you feel guilty when you do, and if you can confidently say ‘no’ to others and ‘yes’ to yourself.
Changing your routines and behavior isn’t easy, especially if you’re a caregiver, struggle with people-pleasing tendencies, or have low self-esteem driving you to prove your worth by doing more.
However, prioritizing yourself is not just an act of self-love; it’s essential for a healthier, more balanced life.
Embrace self-love this week.
(Do it for yourself and those you love ☺)
Marina
